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Entry tags:
friend's confession iii
yunho/jaejoong
pg13; 4,006 w
mpreg, romance, angst.
summary: being the biggest player in town, jaejoong has earned himself a reputation he'd either hate or love. it's almost blissful, if only the person he likes most would come to notice his affections.
iii
Minutes felt like hours for Yoochun as he paced back and forth outside the emergency room. Jaejoong did not suffer from any serious injury, but something more important was at stake, he knew that too well.
When he arrived at the scene of the accident, Jaejoong had yet to move from where he was an hour ago. Yes, he was still in the driver’s seat, afraid that any movement would cause further damage, and what surprised him was the amount of blood on Jaejoong when he saw him. No one dared to come near him, they said Jaejoong would shout at anyone, untrusting of others. Jaejoong must have been very scared; he was only too jumpy when he was scared.
Yoochun saw the doctor come out of the emergency room, he approached the man with questions regarding Jaejoong.
“I’m sorry Mr. Park, but because of impact from the crash and the amount of alcohol in Mr. Kim’s system had we weren’t able to save the baby. I’m really sorry.” the doctor explained with a bit too much sympathy.
Yoochun’s knees went weak, his arms fell limp and his head felt heavy all of a sudden. He, who had been a witness to Jaejoong’s pain and struggle, knew how much this would affect his soul mate.
Jaejoong had loved Yunho for years, and the baby he carried was the only beacon of hope he had left, hope that he wouldn’t have to be alone for the rest of his life. Now Yoochun wasn’t so sure what would be left of Jaejoong upon knowing about his baby’s death
--
Yoochun went inside the room to find Jaejoong sitting against a pillow, eyes boring holes on the wall. He smiled at the other, trying his best for a gentler apprpoach.
Jaejoong laid his hands possessively against his flat stomach, as if holding onto something that used to be there. He kept his head down, hiding the smallest glimmer of sadness. Even at times like this, Jaejoong was still the stubborn man with a formidable façade.
Yoochun, who could no longer stand the melancholy, cupped the other’s cheeks, lifting it up just enough to find Jaejoong’s glassy eyes staring straight into his.
“Jaejoong, cry. Stop holding it in.” There was a considerable length of silence before Jaejoong’s raspy voice whispered gently,
“It’s gone, isn’t it?” Yoochun didn’t remember when was the last time he cried this hard. The only explanation he came up with was that he was shedding tears in place of Jaejoong, because Jaejoong, no matter the situation, would always hold back.
It was an hour later that the door flew open, then there was Yunho, standing stiff by the door with the saddest expression Jaejoong had seen in years.
Yoochun, knowing his place, moved away from Jaejoong and whispered ‘I’ll be outside if you need me.’ to him. He turned to Yunho tapping the taller man’s shoulder. “Sorry” and Yoochun left the two alone.
“Ironic isn’t it? It’s only a few weeks back when we were here for a different reason.” Jaejoong laughed bitterly, though he knew there’s no use in pretending, he still tried. He and Yunho may have gotten used to pretending, pretending to be friends, pretending to be happy and most importantly pretending not to be in love with each other, but right now they need to face the truth and all the consequences of it.
“Why did you do that?” unlike a month ago, Yunho’s voices seemed softer, full of sadness and grieve.
“Isn’t that what you’ve always wished for Yunho? To get rid of me?” Jaejoong turned to him, hands gripping the bed sheet.
“What are you talking about?”
“You are bound to me because of that child, and now that it’s gone, you’re free Yunho.” Yunho’s form stiffened, he felt anger rising from the farthest corner of his heart.
“Do you understand what you’re saying? You’re saying I led you into killing our baby!”
“It was the only way out for you. And no one needs to know so you don’t have to feel so bad about it.”
Thinking back, Jaejoong wondered what could have been his future if he and Yunho had ended up. He knew the good sides of it but the bad sides were what seemed more prominent and he finally understood why Yunho would rather turn his back to him.
Yunho is an only son of a well-know family; Jaejoong is the youngest and only male child from his equally famous family. They could’ve been disowned, they could’ve been separated permanently.
Jaejoong was too deep in his thoughts he didn’t notice when Yunho charged at him, anger burning in him.
“Why!? Why did it have to be you!? Why did you have to carry my child!?” Jaejoong blocked Yunho’s attack with both his arms as he tried to push Yunho off.
Yoochun, who had called both Changmin and Junsu, heard the commotion inside so they broke in in haste.
“Yunho!” the three of them exclaimed and pulled the raging Yunho off of Jaejoong. They held Yunho by the arms as the man struggled to get to break free.
“It was our baby…” The taller man cried, and Jaejoong looked up to see Yunho’s tear stricken face. His voice was trembling from both anger and crying.
“It was our baby Joongie, he was innocent…and he was ours…” Yunho held back a sob and Jaejoong’s heart broke just by looking at the scene.
“Didn’t I tell you Yunho? I don’t make commitments, and that baby was one hell of a commitment” Jaejoong bit his lips, his eyes already puffy from tears he held back, “it’s going to be okay though, someone’s ought to give you a son someday.” It took him all the strength he had left to mutter those words to his loved one.
“Jaejoong hyung!” even Junsu, who was holding Yunho back, felt the weight of Jaejoong’s words.
All the while Changmin couldn’t believe his ears that Yunho was actually the baby’s father. And to think he still wasn’t over the shock of finding his male friend pregnant.
“Get Yunho out of here.” Yoochun told the two guys and they were more than willing to comply.
Once the three had left the room, Jaejoong found his voice again, “I’m so tired Yoochun-ah…I’m so tired…”
Yoochun sat on the foot of the bed, patting his soul mate’s leg lightly, “You’re going to be okay, I swear it’s going to be okay.”
--
A week has passed and Jaejoong had decided to continue his studies in Australia. His parents agreed, oblivious to what Jaejoong went through the last few months. His parents were after all, too busy with work to care.
He hadn’t heard from Yunho after their encounter in the hospital. There were moments he badly wanted to apologize and tell Yunho how broken he felt on the inside, tell him he didn’t mean a single thing he said back then and everything was said out of anger and frustration. Jaejoong was still in a daze, it didn’t sink in completely, the real score between him and Yunho.
“Joongie, you done packing? Dinner is ready.” Jaejoong’s eldest sister said, watching her brother fiddle with the bed spread.
“Yeah, I’m going down in a while.” The younger replied, all sullen and calm.
“Joongie-ah, if there’s anything bothering you, you can always tell us. Mom, dad, your eight mighty sisters.”
“I’m okay noona, just a little tired, go on ahead.” His sister nodded before leaving.
Jaejoong was about to leave the room when he noticed paper bags scattered in the corner of his room. When did he go shopping? Oh right, about a month ago.
He shuffled toward the bags, a little, if not, surprised by the content of one.
The yellow baby pyjama set he bought with Yunho. He remembered it was also the same night he slept with his best friend. The night that had resulted in heartbreaks, heartbreaks and more heartbreaks.
He pulled the pyjama top to his chest before making his way back on the bed. This could’ve been his baby’s pyjama, if only the poor angel was given the chance to live.
Unknowingly, tears rolled down his cheeks, landing softly on the pyjama. This was the first time he shed tears in a while, he tried to be strong all the time and this was the first time he let weakness into him. For the first time after he lost the baby, he wanted to mourn. Mourn for the lost life, for the lost chance and for the love that he was about to bury into nothingness.
“Daddy is sorry…” he whispered, voice muffled as he buried his face in the cotton cloth.
“I’m so sorry, baby, Yunho-ah…”
What he didn’t know was the presence of another person just outside his room, listening to his cry of pain.
--
“Yah Yunho hyung! Stop stealing my food!” Changmin roared, annoyed at his older friend who was again and again, trying to grab a piece of kimbab from the younger male’s plate.
“I’m older, I do what I want.” Yunho smirked.
“Stop it, you two. If Jaejoong were here he’d be smacking you both on the head.” Junsu commented absentmindedly, busy with the game he was familiarizing himself with.
“Hey Jaejoong hyung leaves today right? I forgot to call him. Anyway he’ll call when he arrives in Australia. That man, refusing to let us take him to the airport.” Changmin, reminded about Jaejoong’s departure, said.
“I hope things will eventually go back to normal between you two, hyung.” Junsu said, his words directed at Yunho, hoping to get at least a small reaction.
“Yeah, it’s been days since you officially broke it off with Seulgi-noona, too bad, she was nice too.” Junsu nudged with his elbow Changmin who winked at him in return.
Yunho gave a small smile before realizing the hungry maknae had his chopsticks on his kimbab, “Yah Changmin that’s mine!”
“Well you were spacing out again!”
The three of them laughed together but abruptly stopped when they heard a melodious tune from another room. They stood up and went to find the source of the music.
They were more than surprised to find Yoochun playing the piano with an unfamiliar tune, a piece of art that must’ve been new.
Then Yoochun started singing as well and everyone knew there was no way they can turn their attention to any other thing aside from Yoochun.
Yunho felt cold. It’s as if his soul was being sucked into the song. One look at Yoochun had confirmed his suspicions. The song was for Jaejoong.
“Friend’s confession doesn’t suit you and Jaejoong too much.” Yoochun said in between the lyrics,
Yoochun stopped playing and stood up, gravitating towards Yunho to hand him the only copy of the song, “You deserve to be happy Yunho-hyung. Go follow him.”
“What are you talking about?” Yunho knew what Yoochun meant but he chose to keep a blind eye to it. Yoochun figured the man needed a push toward the right direction.
“He had loved you longer than what you can imagine. That night you slept with him broke him to the point that he had stopped eating. When we found out about his pregnancy, he started to live again. That child was a source of life for Jaejoong and he never planned on getting in an accident. When he called me that night, he was so frightened that the slightest movement would make him shout. When he lost the baby, he had lost a part of himself.” Yoochun explained, biting back a sob.
“Why?” Yunho asked, somehow obviously knowing the truth.
“He knew your situation, your stand. He knew how your family would’ve reacted to you being with him. He didn’t want to burden you-” Both Junsu and Changmin stared at them in confusion.
“you love each other; so don’t make this any harder on yourselves.”
“here take my car, just don’t get a single scratch on it.” Yoochun handed Yunho his keys, eyes hard with determination.
Yunho gave Yoochun a meaningful stare. His gratefulness and apology all wrapped up in one glance. When the shorter man made a curt nod, Yunho took it as the cue to sprint toward the door.
“Yunho! Don’t hurt him again okay? I may not consider giving him back to you next time.” Yoochun shouted and two pair of eyes widened at the blatant implication.
In reality, Yoochun knew Friend’s confession was his story’s song, not Jaejoong’s for he had known from the beginning that Yunho returned Jae’s feelings. But somehow he hoped he would be able to find the perfect partner, which could never be Jaejoong, and find happiness in that person. And yeah, technically the song he made was for Jaejoong, the song was his heart itself, and upon handing it to Yunho, he had declared defeat.
He smiled at his two friends, holding back a laugh at the hilarity of their reactions.
“What?”
“Yoochun you…” well at least he didn’t get interrogated.
--
What Yunho expected when he came kneeling down his house’s floor with a heartfelt confession was the throwing of bags, clothes and most of his belongings to his face, by his father. What parent could possibly take their son being lightly? So Yunho took it upon himself to understand his father. At least he came clean, right? The only thing he wished at the moment was that Jaejoong’s flight be cancelled or delayed because he had less than an hour to drive to the airport.
“I Love Jaejoong, I would marry him.”
“I cancelled my wedding with Seulgi not because of the baby but because I had always wanted to be with Jaejoong.”
“I’m going to him right now, and I won’t let him go.”
Yunho cringed in embarrassment as he recalled what he had told his parents. He would have to worry about his frozen cards and tuition fees when he was done talking Jaejoong out of his Australia plan.
When there was only mere ten minutes left before the plane for Australia left, Yunho trusted his long legs to do the job. Not knowing if his legs really did do him good, Yunho search the crowd for his beloved, somehow hoping he wasn’t too late to fix what they’ve broken.
--
Jaejoong kept glancing back and forth the entrance and the door leading to the departure area. Somehow, somehow he wondered if there was anyone who would even think of stopping him.
He sighed and plucked the baby pyjama from his shoulder bag and buried his face in it, he had just washed it himself last night. Smiling to himself, Jaejoong wondered if his son was watching over him. He swore to himself that he’d do the right thing from now on, choose the right decisions if possible, to find peace in himself and forgiveness from the child he had lost.
It′s not your fault those hands are freezing
Borne from those childish days, you carry the scars
Are you afraid to love someone?
You pretend not to see the other side of the words
Like ice, the embraced heart slowly starts to thaw
He heard a familiar voice call out to him, but the voice soon drowned into the sea of voices, people boarding the next plane to Australia stood up to get ready and Jaejoong followed suit. His heart told him that he needed to find that voice; his mind told him leaving was the better option. This time, he followed his mind.
Even if fate′s mischief pains the heart
On the other side of those tears,
A single ray of light will swoop down into the darkness
We know
As strong as the feeling of suffering, we can feel people′s warmth
Upon deciding, he looked back, tears slowly brimming his eyes, and he mouthed a curt ‘I love you’ for the first time to someone he wasn’t sure to even be in that place at that time. Then he turned back to where he was heading, his future.
--
Yunho, who had lost all hope of finding Jaejoong, had just discovered that the flight for Australia was delayed due to the late landing of the plane. He scanned the people who were about to board the plane in a few seconds, hoping to find Jaejoong and hopefully stop his attempt of leaving for good.
God was still with him when he caught a glimpse of that familiar platinum blonde hair. He sprinted towards his soon to be lover if fate let them be, but the smile he wore faltered after seeing Jaejoong look back, mouthing those three words he had planned on telling the older guy that day.
Everyone is searching for a place
That can heal their sadness and loneliness
So... for you, that place is here
Don′t be afraid, don′t hesitate anymore, because I′ll protect you
My heart is pained
Because this love is so beautiful, don′t be afraid
Even if it′s just momentarily, I′ll let you know my love
This time is beautiful, you know... let you know my love
All Yunho was able to do was watch in agony as the person he loved faded into nothingness in the crowd of faceless people.
It was because Yunho knew, Jaejoong has made up his mind, and that he would not be able to do anything to change that, that he turned around to make his way back.
Because Jaejoong’s decisions were always final.
For anyone to be loved by someone,
Makes life in this world shine
If it was me, I′d make your heart warm once more
With eternal tenderness
EPILOGUE
Yoochun’s apartment was in utter chaos after what seemed to be hours of shuffling around, knocking things off shelves and so on. Yoochun, whose patience was now wearing thin, was tapping his foot on the floor in irritation. Changmin and Junsu, too busy shouting at each other, ignored the warning in Yoochun’s expression.
“If you would just quit running around and fix your goddamn clothes then I’d be able to move around more freely on my own after you’re done.” Changmin yelled at the older man.
“I’m nervous okay!? I don’t know what to wear! This is the first time I will see Jae-hyung in two years!” Junsu shouted back, equally annoyed.
“Oh just shut up, you two.” Yoochun was now rubbing his temples. These two were as troublesome as always when they were together.
“Yoochun! Why won’t you pick your boyfriend’s side!” Changmin growled and Yoochun shook his head, leaving the two on their own.
Eventually, after Jaejoong left the country, Yoochun had found himself spending more time with Junsu and Changmin, with Junsu already dating someone (who they latter found out was Yunho’s ex-fiancé, Seulgi) Changmin and Yoochun were pretty much left on their own for a few months before they woke up naked beside each other in bed. It started off chaotic for the two of them since Changmin was straight after all, but they gave in to their feelings faster than they would’ve imagined. Perhaps it was the thought of not following Yunho and Jaejoong’s stupid mistakes.
“Aren’t you two done yet?” Yoochun groaned when he heard Changmin’s firm reply of no.
“if you two don’t come out in five seconds I’m leaving without you.”
The next thing Yoochun heard was the sound of his most expensive vase shattering to pieces due to a flailing Junsu.
--
“Ahh…what’s taking him so long?” Changmin whined. His legs already numbed from standing too long.
“Maybe his baggage is holding him up.” Yoochun replied, patting the back of his boyfriend’s head like he would to Harang when the dog was feeling unwell.
“Don’t do that, I feel like your dog.” The younger man said, not liking the playful grin in Yoochun’s face.
A few minutes later, Junsu exclaimed he spotted an auburn haired man wearing sunglasses, a black cardigan and a beanie over his head. The man was carrying a little boy in his arms.
“JAEJOONG HYUNG!!!!!” the three of them called out, all together.
Jaejoong who had recognized his friends in spite of two years of separation walked towards them.
“Yoochun! Changmin! Junsu! Oh my god I missed you guys!” Jaejoong felt three pairs of arms sqeezing the life out of him. The oldest man pulled away to check on the toddler in his arms.
“So that’s baby Chunnie?” Yoochun, who was more than happy to meet the baby who was named after him, pointed to the one-year-old boy in Jaejoong’s arms.
“Whose baby would I carry other than Chunnie? And yes soulmate-ah meet your cuter counterpart.” Yoochun merely rolled his eyes before reaching out to take the little boy into his arms. What surprised him more as the protruding tummy the other sported under his cardigan.
“Oh please tell me that’s beer-belly…” Changmin exclaimed, eyes widening.
“It’s not.” Jaejoong replied as a matter of fact.
“Hyung! Where’s your self control!?” Junsu gasped, his eyes growing wide with surprise.
“Jaejoong, you really are a beast. Oh I forgot to ask, where’s Yunho?” Yoochun scanned the airport for any trace of that small-faced lawyer who had gotten first place in the board exams.
“Yunho? There.” Jaejoong pointed to the now lawyer Yunho who was struggling with bags of different sizes, a lot heavier looking than those bags piled on the stroller he was pushing.
“YUNHO HYUNG!!!!”
Eventually, after all the twists and turns of their relationship, Jaejoong and Yunho ended up together. It took Yunho a few months to realize he wouldn’t stand a chance against life without Jaejoong and so triggered his decision to fly off to Australia. After weeks of searching the Melbourne up and down, Yunho was able to locate Jaejoong, and even with all the shorter man’s attempts to brush him off, he eventually succeeded, getting back the love of his life back in his arms again.
Thus Jung Yoochun was born (the reason for the name was because Jaejoong believed that baby Yoochun wouldn’t have existed without the help of intervention of his soul mate) and now their second baby on its way.
Now that they’re back in Korea, Yunho and Jaejoong were about to start anew.
When the three were too busy squeezing the life out of Yunho, a girl, one in a miniskirt, passed them by, catching a certain beauty’s attention. Jaejoong licked his lips and whistled suggestively. The girl whirled around with a smile, a smile which later melted at the sight of Jaejoong’s protruding tummy.
“Fat.” She muttered before walking off, leaving a furious Jaejoong in her wake.
Yunho held his fiancé (yes, fiancé) back, trying to keep him from butchering the girl.
“Did she just call me fat!? That bitch!”
“Don’t mind her baby, you’re the sexiest, most gorgeous man in the world!”
The other three stared, jaws hanging open at the blatant display of sappiness. And did Jaejoong just flirt in front of Yunho without getting in trouble?
The night ended fast as the five reunited. Many interesting stories were shared and it wasn’t long before a plan for another get together was suggested, hopefully before Yunho and Jaejoong’s upcoming wedding.
Jaejoong cuddled to Yunho under the covers, their baby slept soundly close to Jaejoong’s chest. He smiled at the irony of life, his best friend of 17 years and his lover of 2 years was now peacefully lying beside him, the result of their love, baby Yoochun slumbering in between them.
He couldn’t be any happier.
“Yunho ah…sleep, we have lots of things to do tomorrow.” Jaejoong whispered, half asleep.
Yunho smiled,“Yes baby, I love you.” He placed a chaste kiss on his forehead.
“Love you too.”
People were hurt, a life was lost but all them had led the two to their own version of happy ever after.
From afar a little angel smiled down on his supposed family, thinking maybe the sacrifice he did weren’t at all in vain.
pg13; 4,006 w
mpreg, romance, angst.
summary: being the biggest player in town, jaejoong has earned himself a reputation he'd either hate or love. it's almost blissful, if only the person he likes most would come to notice his affections.
iii
Minutes felt like hours for Yoochun as he paced back and forth outside the emergency room. Jaejoong did not suffer from any serious injury, but something more important was at stake, he knew that too well.
When he arrived at the scene of the accident, Jaejoong had yet to move from where he was an hour ago. Yes, he was still in the driver’s seat, afraid that any movement would cause further damage, and what surprised him was the amount of blood on Jaejoong when he saw him. No one dared to come near him, they said Jaejoong would shout at anyone, untrusting of others. Jaejoong must have been very scared; he was only too jumpy when he was scared.
Yoochun saw the doctor come out of the emergency room, he approached the man with questions regarding Jaejoong.
“I’m sorry Mr. Park, but because of impact from the crash and the amount of alcohol in Mr. Kim’s system had we weren’t able to save the baby. I’m really sorry.” the doctor explained with a bit too much sympathy.
Yoochun’s knees went weak, his arms fell limp and his head felt heavy all of a sudden. He, who had been a witness to Jaejoong’s pain and struggle, knew how much this would affect his soul mate.
Jaejoong had loved Yunho for years, and the baby he carried was the only beacon of hope he had left, hope that he wouldn’t have to be alone for the rest of his life. Now Yoochun wasn’t so sure what would be left of Jaejoong upon knowing about his baby’s death
--
Yoochun went inside the room to find Jaejoong sitting against a pillow, eyes boring holes on the wall. He smiled at the other, trying his best for a gentler apprpoach.
Jaejoong laid his hands possessively against his flat stomach, as if holding onto something that used to be there. He kept his head down, hiding the smallest glimmer of sadness. Even at times like this, Jaejoong was still the stubborn man with a formidable façade.
Yoochun, who could no longer stand the melancholy, cupped the other’s cheeks, lifting it up just enough to find Jaejoong’s glassy eyes staring straight into his.
“Jaejoong, cry. Stop holding it in.” There was a considerable length of silence before Jaejoong’s raspy voice whispered gently,
“It’s gone, isn’t it?” Yoochun didn’t remember when was the last time he cried this hard. The only explanation he came up with was that he was shedding tears in place of Jaejoong, because Jaejoong, no matter the situation, would always hold back.
It was an hour later that the door flew open, then there was Yunho, standing stiff by the door with the saddest expression Jaejoong had seen in years.
Yoochun, knowing his place, moved away from Jaejoong and whispered ‘I’ll be outside if you need me.’ to him. He turned to Yunho tapping the taller man’s shoulder. “Sorry” and Yoochun left the two alone.
“Ironic isn’t it? It’s only a few weeks back when we were here for a different reason.” Jaejoong laughed bitterly, though he knew there’s no use in pretending, he still tried. He and Yunho may have gotten used to pretending, pretending to be friends, pretending to be happy and most importantly pretending not to be in love with each other, but right now they need to face the truth and all the consequences of it.
“Why did you do that?” unlike a month ago, Yunho’s voices seemed softer, full of sadness and grieve.
“Isn’t that what you’ve always wished for Yunho? To get rid of me?” Jaejoong turned to him, hands gripping the bed sheet.
“What are you talking about?”
“You are bound to me because of that child, and now that it’s gone, you’re free Yunho.” Yunho’s form stiffened, he felt anger rising from the farthest corner of his heart.
“Do you understand what you’re saying? You’re saying I led you into killing our baby!”
“It was the only way out for you. And no one needs to know so you don’t have to feel so bad about it.”
Thinking back, Jaejoong wondered what could have been his future if he and Yunho had ended up. He knew the good sides of it but the bad sides were what seemed more prominent and he finally understood why Yunho would rather turn his back to him.
Yunho is an only son of a well-know family; Jaejoong is the youngest and only male child from his equally famous family. They could’ve been disowned, they could’ve been separated permanently.
Jaejoong was too deep in his thoughts he didn’t notice when Yunho charged at him, anger burning in him.
“Why!? Why did it have to be you!? Why did you have to carry my child!?” Jaejoong blocked Yunho’s attack with both his arms as he tried to push Yunho off.
Yoochun, who had called both Changmin and Junsu, heard the commotion inside so they broke in in haste.
“Yunho!” the three of them exclaimed and pulled the raging Yunho off of Jaejoong. They held Yunho by the arms as the man struggled to get to break free.
“It was our baby…” The taller man cried, and Jaejoong looked up to see Yunho’s tear stricken face. His voice was trembling from both anger and crying.
“It was our baby Joongie, he was innocent…and he was ours…” Yunho held back a sob and Jaejoong’s heart broke just by looking at the scene.
“Didn’t I tell you Yunho? I don’t make commitments, and that baby was one hell of a commitment” Jaejoong bit his lips, his eyes already puffy from tears he held back, “it’s going to be okay though, someone’s ought to give you a son someday.” It took him all the strength he had left to mutter those words to his loved one.
“Jaejoong hyung!” even Junsu, who was holding Yunho back, felt the weight of Jaejoong’s words.
All the while Changmin couldn’t believe his ears that Yunho was actually the baby’s father. And to think he still wasn’t over the shock of finding his male friend pregnant.
“Get Yunho out of here.” Yoochun told the two guys and they were more than willing to comply.
Once the three had left the room, Jaejoong found his voice again, “I’m so tired Yoochun-ah…I’m so tired…”
Yoochun sat on the foot of the bed, patting his soul mate’s leg lightly, “You’re going to be okay, I swear it’s going to be okay.”
--
A week has passed and Jaejoong had decided to continue his studies in Australia. His parents agreed, oblivious to what Jaejoong went through the last few months. His parents were after all, too busy with work to care.
He hadn’t heard from Yunho after their encounter in the hospital. There were moments he badly wanted to apologize and tell Yunho how broken he felt on the inside, tell him he didn’t mean a single thing he said back then and everything was said out of anger and frustration. Jaejoong was still in a daze, it didn’t sink in completely, the real score between him and Yunho.
“Joongie, you done packing? Dinner is ready.” Jaejoong’s eldest sister said, watching her brother fiddle with the bed spread.
“Yeah, I’m going down in a while.” The younger replied, all sullen and calm.
“Joongie-ah, if there’s anything bothering you, you can always tell us. Mom, dad, your eight mighty sisters.”
“I’m okay noona, just a little tired, go on ahead.” His sister nodded before leaving.
Jaejoong was about to leave the room when he noticed paper bags scattered in the corner of his room. When did he go shopping? Oh right, about a month ago.
He shuffled toward the bags, a little, if not, surprised by the content of one.
The yellow baby pyjama set he bought with Yunho. He remembered it was also the same night he slept with his best friend. The night that had resulted in heartbreaks, heartbreaks and more heartbreaks.
He pulled the pyjama top to his chest before making his way back on the bed. This could’ve been his baby’s pyjama, if only the poor angel was given the chance to live.
Unknowingly, tears rolled down his cheeks, landing softly on the pyjama. This was the first time he shed tears in a while, he tried to be strong all the time and this was the first time he let weakness into him. For the first time after he lost the baby, he wanted to mourn. Mourn for the lost life, for the lost chance and for the love that he was about to bury into nothingness.
“Daddy is sorry…” he whispered, voice muffled as he buried his face in the cotton cloth.
“I’m so sorry, baby, Yunho-ah…”
What he didn’t know was the presence of another person just outside his room, listening to his cry of pain.
--
“Yah Yunho hyung! Stop stealing my food!” Changmin roared, annoyed at his older friend who was again and again, trying to grab a piece of kimbab from the younger male’s plate.
“I’m older, I do what I want.” Yunho smirked.
“Stop it, you two. If Jaejoong were here he’d be smacking you both on the head.” Junsu commented absentmindedly, busy with the game he was familiarizing himself with.
“Hey Jaejoong hyung leaves today right? I forgot to call him. Anyway he’ll call when he arrives in Australia. That man, refusing to let us take him to the airport.” Changmin, reminded about Jaejoong’s departure, said.
“I hope things will eventually go back to normal between you two, hyung.” Junsu said, his words directed at Yunho, hoping to get at least a small reaction.
“Yeah, it’s been days since you officially broke it off with Seulgi-noona, too bad, she was nice too.” Junsu nudged with his elbow Changmin who winked at him in return.
Yunho gave a small smile before realizing the hungry maknae had his chopsticks on his kimbab, “Yah Changmin that’s mine!”
“Well you were spacing out again!”
The three of them laughed together but abruptly stopped when they heard a melodious tune from another room. They stood up and went to find the source of the music.
They were more than surprised to find Yoochun playing the piano with an unfamiliar tune, a piece of art that must’ve been new.
Then Yoochun started singing as well and everyone knew there was no way they can turn their attention to any other thing aside from Yoochun.
Yunho felt cold. It’s as if his soul was being sucked into the song. One look at Yoochun had confirmed his suspicions. The song was for Jaejoong.
“Friend’s confession doesn’t suit you and Jaejoong too much.” Yoochun said in between the lyrics,
Yoochun stopped playing and stood up, gravitating towards Yunho to hand him the only copy of the song, “You deserve to be happy Yunho-hyung. Go follow him.”
“What are you talking about?” Yunho knew what Yoochun meant but he chose to keep a blind eye to it. Yoochun figured the man needed a push toward the right direction.
“He had loved you longer than what you can imagine. That night you slept with him broke him to the point that he had stopped eating. When we found out about his pregnancy, he started to live again. That child was a source of life for Jaejoong and he never planned on getting in an accident. When he called me that night, he was so frightened that the slightest movement would make him shout. When he lost the baby, he had lost a part of himself.” Yoochun explained, biting back a sob.
“Why?” Yunho asked, somehow obviously knowing the truth.
“He knew your situation, your stand. He knew how your family would’ve reacted to you being with him. He didn’t want to burden you-” Both Junsu and Changmin stared at them in confusion.
“you love each other; so don’t make this any harder on yourselves.”
“here take my car, just don’t get a single scratch on it.” Yoochun handed Yunho his keys, eyes hard with determination.
Yunho gave Yoochun a meaningful stare. His gratefulness and apology all wrapped up in one glance. When the shorter man made a curt nod, Yunho took it as the cue to sprint toward the door.
“Yunho! Don’t hurt him again okay? I may not consider giving him back to you next time.” Yoochun shouted and two pair of eyes widened at the blatant implication.
In reality, Yoochun knew Friend’s confession was his story’s song, not Jaejoong’s for he had known from the beginning that Yunho returned Jae’s feelings. But somehow he hoped he would be able to find the perfect partner, which could never be Jaejoong, and find happiness in that person. And yeah, technically the song he made was for Jaejoong, the song was his heart itself, and upon handing it to Yunho, he had declared defeat.
He smiled at his two friends, holding back a laugh at the hilarity of their reactions.
“What?”
“Yoochun you…” well at least he didn’t get interrogated.
--
What Yunho expected when he came kneeling down his house’s floor with a heartfelt confession was the throwing of bags, clothes and most of his belongings to his face, by his father. What parent could possibly take their son being lightly? So Yunho took it upon himself to understand his father. At least he came clean, right? The only thing he wished at the moment was that Jaejoong’s flight be cancelled or delayed because he had less than an hour to drive to the airport.
“I Love Jaejoong, I would marry him.”
“I cancelled my wedding with Seulgi not because of the baby but because I had always wanted to be with Jaejoong.”
“I’m going to him right now, and I won’t let him go.”
Yunho cringed in embarrassment as he recalled what he had told his parents. He would have to worry about his frozen cards and tuition fees when he was done talking Jaejoong out of his Australia plan.
When there was only mere ten minutes left before the plane for Australia left, Yunho trusted his long legs to do the job. Not knowing if his legs really did do him good, Yunho search the crowd for his beloved, somehow hoping he wasn’t too late to fix what they’ve broken.
--
Jaejoong kept glancing back and forth the entrance and the door leading to the departure area. Somehow, somehow he wondered if there was anyone who would even think of stopping him.
He sighed and plucked the baby pyjama from his shoulder bag and buried his face in it, he had just washed it himself last night. Smiling to himself, Jaejoong wondered if his son was watching over him. He swore to himself that he’d do the right thing from now on, choose the right decisions if possible, to find peace in himself and forgiveness from the child he had lost.
It′s not your fault those hands are freezing
Borne from those childish days, you carry the scars
Are you afraid to love someone?
You pretend not to see the other side of the words
Like ice, the embraced heart slowly starts to thaw
He heard a familiar voice call out to him, but the voice soon drowned into the sea of voices, people boarding the next plane to Australia stood up to get ready and Jaejoong followed suit. His heart told him that he needed to find that voice; his mind told him leaving was the better option. This time, he followed his mind.
Even if fate′s mischief pains the heart
On the other side of those tears,
A single ray of light will swoop down into the darkness
We know
As strong as the feeling of suffering, we can feel people′s warmth
Upon deciding, he looked back, tears slowly brimming his eyes, and he mouthed a curt ‘I love you’ for the first time to someone he wasn’t sure to even be in that place at that time. Then he turned back to where he was heading, his future.
--
Yunho, who had lost all hope of finding Jaejoong, had just discovered that the flight for Australia was delayed due to the late landing of the plane. He scanned the people who were about to board the plane in a few seconds, hoping to find Jaejoong and hopefully stop his attempt of leaving for good.
God was still with him when he caught a glimpse of that familiar platinum blonde hair. He sprinted towards his soon to be lover if fate let them be, but the smile he wore faltered after seeing Jaejoong look back, mouthing those three words he had planned on telling the older guy that day.
Everyone is searching for a place
That can heal their sadness and loneliness
So... for you, that place is here
Don′t be afraid, don′t hesitate anymore, because I′ll protect you
My heart is pained
Because this love is so beautiful, don′t be afraid
Even if it′s just momentarily, I′ll let you know my love
This time is beautiful, you know... let you know my love
All Yunho was able to do was watch in agony as the person he loved faded into nothingness in the crowd of faceless people.
It was because Yunho knew, Jaejoong has made up his mind, and that he would not be able to do anything to change that, that he turned around to make his way back.
Because Jaejoong’s decisions were always final.
For anyone to be loved by someone,
Makes life in this world shine
If it was me, I′d make your heart warm once more
With eternal tenderness
EPILOGUE
Yoochun’s apartment was in utter chaos after what seemed to be hours of shuffling around, knocking things off shelves and so on. Yoochun, whose patience was now wearing thin, was tapping his foot on the floor in irritation. Changmin and Junsu, too busy shouting at each other, ignored the warning in Yoochun’s expression.
“If you would just quit running around and fix your goddamn clothes then I’d be able to move around more freely on my own after you’re done.” Changmin yelled at the older man.
“I’m nervous okay!? I don’t know what to wear! This is the first time I will see Jae-hyung in two years!” Junsu shouted back, equally annoyed.
“Oh just shut up, you two.” Yoochun was now rubbing his temples. These two were as troublesome as always when they were together.
“Yoochun! Why won’t you pick your boyfriend’s side!” Changmin growled and Yoochun shook his head, leaving the two on their own.
Eventually, after Jaejoong left the country, Yoochun had found himself spending more time with Junsu and Changmin, with Junsu already dating someone (who they latter found out was Yunho’s ex-fiancé, Seulgi) Changmin and Yoochun were pretty much left on their own for a few months before they woke up naked beside each other in bed. It started off chaotic for the two of them since Changmin was straight after all, but they gave in to their feelings faster than they would’ve imagined. Perhaps it was the thought of not following Yunho and Jaejoong’s stupid mistakes.
“Aren’t you two done yet?” Yoochun groaned when he heard Changmin’s firm reply of no.
“if you two don’t come out in five seconds I’m leaving without you.”
The next thing Yoochun heard was the sound of his most expensive vase shattering to pieces due to a flailing Junsu.
--
“Ahh…what’s taking him so long?” Changmin whined. His legs already numbed from standing too long.
“Maybe his baggage is holding him up.” Yoochun replied, patting the back of his boyfriend’s head like he would to Harang when the dog was feeling unwell.
“Don’t do that, I feel like your dog.” The younger man said, not liking the playful grin in Yoochun’s face.
A few minutes later, Junsu exclaimed he spotted an auburn haired man wearing sunglasses, a black cardigan and a beanie over his head. The man was carrying a little boy in his arms.
“JAEJOONG HYUNG!!!!!” the three of them called out, all together.
Jaejoong who had recognized his friends in spite of two years of separation walked towards them.
“Yoochun! Changmin! Junsu! Oh my god I missed you guys!” Jaejoong felt three pairs of arms sqeezing the life out of him. The oldest man pulled away to check on the toddler in his arms.
“So that’s baby Chunnie?” Yoochun, who was more than happy to meet the baby who was named after him, pointed to the one-year-old boy in Jaejoong’s arms.
“Whose baby would I carry other than Chunnie? And yes soulmate-ah meet your cuter counterpart.” Yoochun merely rolled his eyes before reaching out to take the little boy into his arms. What surprised him more as the protruding tummy the other sported under his cardigan.
“Oh please tell me that’s beer-belly…” Changmin exclaimed, eyes widening.
“It’s not.” Jaejoong replied as a matter of fact.
“Hyung! Where’s your self control!?” Junsu gasped, his eyes growing wide with surprise.
“Jaejoong, you really are a beast. Oh I forgot to ask, where’s Yunho?” Yoochun scanned the airport for any trace of that small-faced lawyer who had gotten first place in the board exams.
“Yunho? There.” Jaejoong pointed to the now lawyer Yunho who was struggling with bags of different sizes, a lot heavier looking than those bags piled on the stroller he was pushing.
“YUNHO HYUNG!!!!”
Eventually, after all the twists and turns of their relationship, Jaejoong and Yunho ended up together. It took Yunho a few months to realize he wouldn’t stand a chance against life without Jaejoong and so triggered his decision to fly off to Australia. After weeks of searching the Melbourne up and down, Yunho was able to locate Jaejoong, and even with all the shorter man’s attempts to brush him off, he eventually succeeded, getting back the love of his life back in his arms again.
Thus Jung Yoochun was born (the reason for the name was because Jaejoong believed that baby Yoochun wouldn’t have existed without the help of intervention of his soul mate) and now their second baby on its way.
Now that they’re back in Korea, Yunho and Jaejoong were about to start anew.
When the three were too busy squeezing the life out of Yunho, a girl, one in a miniskirt, passed them by, catching a certain beauty’s attention. Jaejoong licked his lips and whistled suggestively. The girl whirled around with a smile, a smile which later melted at the sight of Jaejoong’s protruding tummy.
“Fat.” She muttered before walking off, leaving a furious Jaejoong in her wake.
Yunho held his fiancé (yes, fiancé) back, trying to keep him from butchering the girl.
“Did she just call me fat!? That bitch!”
“Don’t mind her baby, you’re the sexiest, most gorgeous man in the world!”
The other three stared, jaws hanging open at the blatant display of sappiness. And did Jaejoong just flirt in front of Yunho without getting in trouble?
The night ended fast as the five reunited. Many interesting stories were shared and it wasn’t long before a plan for another get together was suggested, hopefully before Yunho and Jaejoong’s upcoming wedding.
Jaejoong cuddled to Yunho under the covers, their baby slept soundly close to Jaejoong’s chest. He smiled at the irony of life, his best friend of 17 years and his lover of 2 years was now peacefully lying beside him, the result of their love, baby Yoochun slumbering in between them.
He couldn’t be any happier.
“Yunho ah…sleep, we have lots of things to do tomorrow.” Jaejoong whispered, half asleep.
Yunho smiled,“Yes baby, I love you.” He placed a chaste kiss on his forehead.
“Love you too.”
People were hurt, a life was lost but all them had led the two to their own version of happy ever after.
From afar a little angel smiled down on his supposed family, thinking maybe the sacrifice he did weren’t at all in vain.